Mom’s Packing List

We bring with us what we have received, accepted, and stored. Kind or cruel words, glances in mirrors turned to funhouse walls. Then we have the choice to discard, recycle, or regift these thoughts and feelings.

I thought since today is Mother’s Day, I would let the universe borrow all of the beauty that is my mom, who organized all of those family vacations to show me the world. How to swim in the ocean, and how to enjoy a road trip. To leave a tip for the housekeeper at the hotel and to sit through a time share talk to earn that free hotel room listed as a four star but just squeaking by with two, in our opinions.

I want to say that whenever I doubt if things will be alright as I set up or tear down an assignment, all it takes is a tub of ice cream and binging a show. That just isn’t true, though. It is a week or two of the deepest self doubt I have felt in my life. I don’t feel like reading through all of my old posts, but I know that I’ve said this in some way, shape, or form at one point.

When the doubt creeps bulldozes its way into my world, talking to my mom hits the brakes on the truck. She has shown me that it’s life; not a failure then a correction then a success. It’s you’re here then you’re there, but wherever you may be, do your damn best.

Before travel nursing was a thing (disclaimer: I have no idea when travel nursing began) she left for Colorado from NYS to live in a ski town for the winter. She planned on finding a job, maybe moving out there, but she never found one. She skied when she could afford it, and moved back that next summer.

I asked her about it the other day on the phone and she called it a little adventure. She said she left because she wasn’t ready to same goodbye to nursing. Not an ounce of nostalgia or regret. It was a thing, she did it, and that’s life.

I can’t speak for my nostalgia, but otherwise I look back on my past assignments and think of them just like that, part of life. Each assignment I equally wish to leave and stay. I put this emphasis on timing and whether I am hitting my marks. Leaving them wanting more, or myself wanting less.

The beauty of my mom is that she wasn’t done with nursing, came back to it and had children, then devoted her life to us. That isn’t everyone’s life or life goal, and maybe it wasn’t hers, but she put her whole heart into loving us. She trusted her timing, or maybe didn’t even bother to believe in timing.

I’m not saying she doesn’t have regrets. I’ve heard them in her voice before. When you let life happen, there are going to be regrets. Even with these lost opportunities, which is how I define a regret, she showed up for us.

I’m not a mom, but I do know there are a million ways to do it well. I’m so grateful for my mom giving her all to us. She taught me how to pack more than just a suitcase and a car. Here are the things that I bring with me each time I travel. Things that my mother gave me or taught me to make the most of it.

1. A “make the most of it” attitude. Not enough of it, but the most. Nothing can bring you down. I can’t tell you how often my mom used this on our family vacations. This attitude should go in your carry on because you might sit next to a snoring man on the plane.
2. Bring a piece of you that you can leave behind. Maybe that old self doubt you drape around your shoulders. Or that sense of self consciousness that shades the possibilities from your eyes.
3. Someone that really “gets” you. This can be yourself, a best friend, and/ or a significant other. Pack this first.
4. Good walking shoes. No double meaning here.
5. A serious plan. Sometimes this is to go to five cities in one day. Sometimes this is to stay horizontal for five days.
6. An open mind. This should be secured in your carry on, preferably in the overhead compartment, lest it spill open and end up with you being pledged into a cult or tricked into joining a pyramid scheme on the plane.
7. Don’t pack too many expectations. They are super heavy and might result in a charge when checking your bag or checking yourself. For this I have an example. My mom was obsessed with seeing the birds in the Honolulu Zoo only to see cardinals and robins. Exotic to them, local to us.
8. That leads me to an essential: a sense of humor. This fits well in a fanny pack or money belt. Keep it close, and keep an eye on it because it can be easily stolen away at any moment by discomfort or embarrassment.
9. A sense of freedom. This weighs nothing so stock that shit in every crevice and pocket ya got.
10. Clean underwear. Again, no double meaning but I feel like a list can’t end on nine. Speaking of limitations, best to leave those at home. They are fine for everyday life, like right now, but not when you’re traveling.

I can think of a story of vacationing with my mom for every one of these “packing” tips, but for now I’m going to resist. I’d rather you spend the time thinking about what you have been given and what you pack every day and every vacation. Figure out your essentials, and maybe some things that never get put to good use. Your heart may have endless room, but your head has limited space. Make sure not to overpack!